Cakes and Cliches
by Freya the Snake Slayer
Summary: Jack's retired. Will he take his relationship with Carter to the next level? Surely it's a piece of cake...


**AN: Hey campers! This one shot popped into my fron while I was writing another fic. It was going to be the epilogue of my long term story, but it didn't suit. It's a bit silly, but hopefully it still quenches your shipper thirst! Reviews are appreciated! Freya x**

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, but I promise to put them back where I found them. All rights belong to the owners. I've edited my own work, so all mistakes are mine.

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"Daniel, where the hell are you taking me?" Jack grumbled, tentatively tapping the floor in front of him with the toe of his dress shoe.

He felt the grip on his arms gently tug him forward.

"We've prepared a very special surprise for you," Daniel sung.

Jack sceptically lifted a greying eyebrow. The blindfold over his eyes shifted slightly and he took the opportunity to peek beneath the fabric. He squinted slightly to sharpen his vision and saw the familiar fibres of his living room carpet.

"I know I just retired, Daniel," Jack declared, "but if you give me a gold watch I'm gonna have to shoot ya."

The younger man expelled an animated sigh.

"Yes, Jack. I know. That's why I had Teal'c remove all the concealed weapons from the room," he said, his timbre dripping with sarcasm.

"Hey! How did you know about those?" Jack cried out.

He knew the silent Jaffa supporting his left elbow would be sporting a quizzical expression. He leaned toward him and lifted a long index finger.

"...you never know," he mumbled, accentuating each word with the waggle of his digit.

"Speaking of concealed weapons…where's Carter?"

He recalled making eyes with his former second in command across the crowded commissory, but she'd suspiciously disappeared before the end of his retirement party.

 _General Hammond placed a warm hand on the sleeve of Jack's jacket and extended his right hand in greeting._

" _Jack, congratulations on your retirement."_

 _Jack swallowed a mouthful of cake before accepting the older man's hand._

" _Thank you, Sir. Third time's the charm..?" He raised a jagged eyebrow and threw the Texan a lopsided smile._

 _The General smirked and shook his head._

" _Here's hoping, son. What's next on the horizon for you?"_

 _As Jack opened his mouth to respond, his eyes caught the familiar sight of Samantha Carter selecting a serving of blue jello from the dessert bar. As if sensing his glare, her eyes raised from the table. As her brilliant blue orbs connected with his, he felt the stirring of something spectacular at a molecular level. His pulse began to thump strong and steady against his neck. His palms began to feel hot and clammy and he felt a rush of euphoria flood his body. Everything around him seemed to drop out of focus, accept for her. For a fleeting moment, it seemed as if the world had frozen on its axle. He felt like time had stopped, and briefly wondered if it was passing by normally outside their gaze. He knew that time dilation could occur naturally, but he wasn't sure if azure eyes were a scientifically recognised catalyst. As quickly as the phenomenon had occurred, he was sharply pulled back into reality by the sounds of laughter and the chinking of champagne glasses. He shook his head and returned his attention to his friend._

 _Noticing the interaction between the two former members of his flagship team, General Hammond gave his former charge a knowing nudge._

" _Ah," he said, a twinkle of understanding in his eyes, "I can't say I'm surprised, Jack."_

 _He leaned in closer to whisper into Jack's ear._

" _It's about damn time." He winked._

 _A sly smile slowly spread across Jack's lips. It had been 11 years. 11 long years, but finally he and Sam were free to explore their undeniable chemistry unfettered by rules and regulations. There was only one more obstacle left to conquer - and it was by far the hardest. Who would make the first move?_

Ignoring Jack's Carter query, Daniel cleared his throat.

"So...what do you think your surprise is?"

Jack mulled over the last few 'surprises' Daniel had bequeathed him in recent years - ascension included, and decided he was a terrible gift giver. A seed of frustration began to grow inside him. He was definitely too old for surprises.

" _Daniel_ , can we get this over with?" He huffed.

"Jack...could you just play along? Please?"

Jack heard the undertones of desperation in Daniel's voice and made the decision to trust him.

"Fine, Daniel." Jack moaned in defeat. "What did you get me? Is it cake?"

"It could be cake..?" Daniel prompted.

"Okay...we're finally getting somewhere. What kind did you get me?" he questioned, "Is it chocolate?"

"Nope."

"Carrot?"

"Nope."

"Cheese?"

"Nope."

"Angel food?"

"Actually, you're surprisingly close...in a manner of speaking."

His head snapped in the direction of Daniel and his face contorted. "Really?"

"Well, kind of." Daniel's lips twisted to one side.

"We are certain you have not tried this dessert before," Teal'c interjected, a speck of mirth in his tone.

"Ooo...good one," Daniel praised.

"Sounds like a gamble, boys." Jack rocked forward on his feet. "How do you know I'll like it?"

The twin grips loosened on his arms and the blindfold was gently peeled from his face. It took a moment for his constricted pupils to adjust to the room. As he took in the sight before him, his bottom jaw dropped and he ran his tongue across the back of his teeth in restrained astonishment. He redistributed his weight between his feet as he carefully studied the 7-foot ornamental cake in the middle of his sunken living room. He took a few tentative steps toward it.

"This isn't real cake!" he exclaimed, experimentally poking the decorative dessert.

He'd barely had time to admire the artistry when the top of the cake flipped open to reveal Samantha Carter.

"Surprise!" she bellowed, arms raised to the heavens.

His eyes widened at the sight of her and he crossed his arms over his chest. A puff of air escaped his lips as his vision travelled up her form and landed on her eyes.

"My favourite flavour," he remarked over his shoulder, "how did you know?"

"Oh. We just had an inkling," Daniel replied from his position at the edge of the room.

"You don't expect me to share, do you boys?" Jack said, his eyes still trained on Sam, "I've been waiting a long time for...cake...and I'd like to enjoy it in peace."

"Did you not have cake back at the SGC, O'Neill?" questioned Teal'c.

A small snort expelled from Carter's mouth and Jack could hear Daniel splutter from behind him. The archeologist quickly composed himself and grabbed a fistful of Teal'c's jacket to coax him towards the front door.

"Alright…" Daniel began as they backed out of the room, "I think we'll leave you to enjoy your long awaited...cake."

Jack raised his hand in acknowledgement, still in a lid lock with Sam.

"...Carter…" he drew out.

She waited until she heard the front door lock before easing herself out of the novelty cake. Jack took a step forward and offered his hand to help guide her down. For the first time, he was able to take in her entire ensemble. She wore a sleek red dress that highlighted her broad shoulders, slender waist and long legs. She sensed his eyeballs boring into her and suddenly felt self-conscious.

"I hope this wasn't too presumptuous, Sir," she said, biting her bottom lip.

He continued his admirations in silence.

She threw a thumb back to the cake.

"This was just a joke…it was my idea. We know how much you hate cliches."

"Carter…" he closed the gap between them and tenderly reached for her face. His eyes fluttered from her eyes to her lips. "Shut-up."

Their lips hungrily smashed together as they tasted and explored each other. Jack placed a hand on the small of her back and dipped her backwards.

"Jack! Your knees!" she mumbled against his thin lips.

He babbled something incoherent before pulling away. He straightened them up and rested his forehead against hers.

"Sam, before we take this…'cake'" he accentuated with air quotes, "...to the bedroom - are you sure..?"

She furrowed her brow and took a step back. Jack's hands came to rest on her hips.

"Are you kidding?" She gave him a once-over. "I ordered this years ago." She playfully pushed him with the palms of her hands.

He stumbled backwards slightly and glanced down at the spot where her hands had shoved him. His forehead wrinkled in amusement. She pried one of his hands from her hip and began guiding him down the hall to his bedroom. He walked at arms length behind her.

"I'm beginning to think there's no actual cake," he teased.

She sneered at him over her shoulder and dropped his hand. He stopped to watch her walk through his bedroom door. Moments later, a silky crimson garment fluttered through the air and landed in a pile at his feet.

His eyes dropped to the pool of fabric gathered around his ankles. He picked it up and allowed it to drop out to it's full length.

"Umm...Carter?" he called, "I think you dropped something."

He could hear a faint giggle from the direction of his bed. He closed his eyes. He saw flashes of past fantasies flicker before him - her milky skin illuminated by moonlight, her hand travelling down his bare chest...

He shook his head in disbelief. He had the opportunity to replace those images with real life memories. He was one lucky son-of-a-gun.

"You're gonna make me work for my retirement, aren't you?" he bellowed with mock exasperation.


End file.
